How to date creative people

How to date creative people

By NellFrizzellIdeasTap 02/09/13

Cupid’s a tad busy just now, sharpening his arrows and polishing his cheeks. So instead you’ll have to make do with the IdeasMag guide to catching a creative date, hook, line and sinker...

Lower your expectations. Further. 

Creative people tend to be short on two things: time and money. There are two cornerstones to dating: time and money.  Hmmm.

So, like an excitable ex-nun, about to spend her 21st birthday at the Great Yarmouth Waxwork Museum, lower your expectations. Further.

It’s not that your possible paramour doesn’t want to make you their number one priority, it’s more likely that they simply can’t.  From time to time, they just won’t have the time or the money to “take you out”, even if you’re politically-aware enough to go Dutch. So...

Be prepared to get creative with your dating ideas 

Dinner and dancing is all very well. But if you’re hoping to clamber into the undergarments of someone creative, there may be far more exciting and appropriate things you can do. 

Late openings at galleries, private views, show openings, picnics, home video screenings, open mic nights, more pop-up events than a wood full of sporing mushrooms; all of these will provide a more exciting, cheap, creative and harmonious dating environment than a stilted conversation over an overpriced meal and vinegary bottle of white wine. 

Give them space

At the risk of sounding like some blazed-out 60s drug casualty, a flower cannot grow in a fist [oh Nell, please]. Sometimes you need to give things a bit of freedom for them to flourish [seriously, Nell, where is this coming from?]. Give your potential partner the space – that’s right, the actual physical space – to work on their creative outlets. If that means band practice, going to the studio, meetings in pubs, time at the library, then let them go.

If you let them have the freedom and opportunity to concentrate properly on their work, then you can enjoy some quality post-work fun time. And yes, that is an innuendo.

Also, if you get to the stage of moving in together, do everything you can to make sure that you both have a separate home and workspace. Trust us. Studio flats are to creative romances what power drills are to kneecaps.

Don’t plan too far into the future

When I asked Twitter for tips on creative dating, a lot of you came back to me with tales of holiday woe. The upshot seems to be that planning a quick getaway with an artist is more complicated than the plot of Vanilla Sky and about as enjoyable.

Of course it’s nice to go away with someone you fancy. But maybe have a back-up companion planned, just in case.

Likewise, if you’re dating because you want to get married, a mortgage and a mewling infant as soon as possible, then may I refer you to point one: lower your expectations. Now.

Don’t compete

A man recently accused me of being “such an alpha.” Guilty as charged.

But, while ambition, drive, charm, hard work and more muscles than an Expendables 3 photocall are undeniably attractive, too much competition with the object of your affection can douse the flames of attraction somewhat. 

One way to solve this is to date people of a complementary creative practice – writers with designers, actors with directors, photographers with choreographers, dancers with musicians; it’s like the world’s sexiest game of mix-and-match. 

But if you do happen to fall for someone who dances the same polka as you, then for the love of suffering rubber, try to be supportive rather than competitive. Even if you are winning.

If in doubt, maybe don’t?

To quote the godmother of performance art, Marina Abramovic:

An artist should avoid falling in love with another artist
An artist should avoid falling in love with another artist |
An artist should avoid falling in love with another artist 

 

You can’t say we didn’t warn you....

 

What are your tips for dating a creative person? Let us know in the comments section below...

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